After many requests, the Ill Winds are pleased to explain their show titled " Gaseous Clouds of Uranus"

The band enters the field with the guard forming two large orbs that seperate to allow the horn line to burst onto the field playing "EVACUATE" an original piece written for this show. Once the horn line emerges through the huge orbs squeezing back together, the drum line emerges in a second wave.

The drum solo is "SKUNK JUICE", which allows the horns to set up in an old style park and blow for the big band styled " STINK- STANK- STUNK" concert number

The production number is called "PULL MY FINGER" and has several large drawn out hits that really push fans back in their seats. This also features the ILL WINDS signature marching style when on every 16th count when the whole band lifts their right leg and leans to the left.

The ballad / closer called " BABY, YA GOTTA PLAY TURTLE TO SLEEP IN MY BED" has been replaced with " SPEAK OH TOOTHLESS WONDER": which features the 36 member bassoon section.

Remember, when that smell hits you, you've been visited by a member of the ILL WINDS fan club, inhale and enjoy.but be careful, our fans may be silent, but they are deadly.

A further report on the ILL WINDS:

Secluded away in practice, it is rumored that the ILL WINDS have been working on their Encore tune ( should it ever be needed) Titled "ILL WIND" by Ella

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suSBd6MaGXM&feature=related

The ILL WINDS are scheduled for a 5 pm departure today from Stink Hole Louisiana to head for the contest in Miami Sunday night. The band has no clue as to where they would place but say they are RIPE and expect the crowd to remember them long after they leave the stadium. Advice to any fans on I-10 & I-70, please keep back from out vehicles by 5,000 feet. Our toilet in every seat system dumps directly onto the Interstate.

.We will be stoping in Theadore Ala for boiled peanuts and beer ( the kids just love to break wind going through the Mobile Tunnel ) Breakfast will be in Ocala Fla where we will stop for soft boiled eggs with sauteed bell peppers and oinions. Dinner will be in the lot tonight and will consist of black beans and cuban sandwiches. The after contest snack will be raw onions and fresh garlic on PBJ sandwiches. Come by and say hello ! We will be staying at the "El Gusto Pooto " high school in Everglades city wich doubles as a huge fundraiser. Seems as though one night stay keeps the bugs and critters away for well over a week..

Dateline Miami 4:14 Eastern Daylight Savings Time

The ILL WINDS have arrived in Miami for tonights regionals. After a 7 day period of no contests, the ILL WINDS hope that the past 7 days of practice will help push them into the upper 50's and at least into the top 3 of Division 2 bands.

7 days without a contest to see how you rate against others is a long time. While we might be able to make a marked improvement, we just pray that we don't embarass ourselves tonight. It will be a true test of the directors ability and answers the question "will he keep his job ? "
EDIT: 7:00 pm Miami

Crisis in Miami
The ILL WInds have received a report that their Bassoon Tender ( 18' step van that transports the double reeds) has been stopped by the DEA for investigation on I 70. It seems that a Toll Operator on Hurricane Alley reported that there was a large shipment of "party Bongs" being tranported in a large van with a "Smiley Face" and ILL WINDS painted on the sides. The toll operator stated there were strange smells coming from the van. We hope that our driver and bassoon tech. Mr. Alfred "DOUBLE" Reed will be able to explain that these are indeed musical instruments and not "party bongs" as claimed and that the smell is actually the garlic oil that Mr. Reed uses for polishing the bassoons.

Loading the buses....we're going to DisnyWorld !!